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O LORD, you have searched me and known me! Psalm 139:1

I live in a world of boys. As Shad likes to say, I am the princess among him and our two sons. Or as our friends in Indonesia put it, I am cantik sendiribeautiful alone. Yes, in my house, I’m definitely the only one you’ll find wearing fancy dresses, shopping online for cute wedge sandals, applying makeup, or twirling around the living room to the tune of a worship song on Spotify.

 

Honestly? I don’t mind it. In my childhood world where I grew up with two sisters, my dad was the king of his castle—handsome alone, I suppose. My men truly spoil me. They treat me well. My husband revels in my womanhood, and my sons have learned to follow suit.

 

You know the one thing that’s difficult? Not always being understood.

Like when I cry during a particularly moving TV commercial.

Or when I want to go to Hobby Lobby when I don’t really need anything (and spend an hour just walking the aisles, only to leave with an empty cart!).

Or how I make a dozen, random, spider-web connections in my story-telling.

 

Have you been there?

 

God wired me to be a communicator, a lover of words and articulation, and it drives me nuts that I can’t always unpack all the intricacies of being female to my men at home.

 

Psalm 139 is a balm to my soul in so many ways. It brilliantly reaches into my humanness and into this deep, God-given need to be known, seen, and understood by those I love. David, in his times of wrestling with feelings of overwhelming darkness (v.11), frustration (v.19-21), and stress (v.23) recalls this truth of his God. That God searched him, knew him, discerned (synonym: understood!) his thoughts, even from afar, searched out and prepared the path in front of him, and was acquainted with all his ways. And that’s just the first three verses!!

 

David continues throughout this Psalm to recite God’s intimate knowledge and understanding. His personal care that traces all the way back to the womb.

 

We all need a Savior to redeem and forgive. Because of God’s immeasurable grace and mercy, we receive a Savior who sees us in every possible way. Who understands us down to the tiniest detail.

 

Knowing and recalling to mind that God understands me gives me freedom to release those I love here on earth (read: those three awesome men in my home) from the crushing expectation to fully understand me as only my Creator can.

 

With David, I give thanks for the God who knows and understands every corner of this heart. I give him praise, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

 

Much love,

Sarah Deal

Women’s Ministry Director

Riverview Baptist Church